crying isn't great

If there's ever gonna be a compo question like,

"The person who made such an impact in your life"

Or perhaps, "The most memorable person",

Miss Yee's name would come popping up in my compo.

I've been crying consecutively for two days, and for that.. I've realised how choir means so much to me...

Our competition was on monday, 4th April, early in the morning at 10 am. And I'm trying to curb my nervousness by calming others down. My mind was full of thoughts like "Oh man, its really the day". The funny thing I found was that I'm saying the same words in my head while I came walking up the stage of the conference hall. "Oh man, I'm actually on the stage!"

And times just passed. Moments later, I'm actually part of the audience, looking up at the next school that's singing after us. Everything's just so fast! During the interval, we went "cornering" yang kai into telling us how we did. Nelson Kwei clapped loudly for us.. and so did the rest of the conductors that were watching! Initially, all of us were quite confident that we will either clinch a high silver or gold.

We'd to go back to check out our results at 6pm. After numerous prayers, the announcer finally came annoucing the results to us in the performance order. Upon announcing the fourth school (ours was the fifth), my heart leaped. The school before us was cheering like mad for getting Gold with honours. How about us? I was too nervous that I cried.. and the results were annouced - silver. I became crying for joy.. but my friends were not quite happy with it. "We should deserve a gold." Then, instead of tears of joy, most of us were crying of anger, guilt.

The day after syf wasn't just as bad until I came to know about hihs's results (the choir that's also our conductor) - Gold. The news just came like a big stab that triggers my tear gland. I called tanya and I just broke off in sobs. They were right - we should deserve a gold too. I started typing my letter in yahoo groups in agony... Why didn't we get that gold that were just a few steps away?

Late in the evening, I went to check up the yahoo groups again when I found a new message by miss yee. Here's what she wrote:

Dear choir,i am sorry that u missed your GOLD. but the main thing was becuase you were very tensed. be encouraged that Mr nelson Kwei and Ms lim aihooi, both conductors of Gold wif honours choir, took the trouble to come to me and tell me that they actually expected you to get a GOLD. probably becasue it was the first day,
so you lost out on that. don't forget, you were busy preparing for the 40th anniversary, bfore the MArch hols. to be able to come this far is already very good.
i am proud of you. you were already winners before you went to SYF. too bad
we didn't get it, but so what. learn from it and move on.
i will see u guys soon.
will be going away to rest for a week, then we will come and celebrate ok? Miss yee

And I cried again. But this time touch by her words. "I am proud of you. you were already winners before you went to SYF." She actually didn't blame us for getting a silver, and even praise us. Who else on earth, like her would do that despite us angering her from time to time during our practices? Just who else? For that, I'm utterly touched that we're actually blessed with such a great conductor. Her words were etched deeply in my mind.

A week without choir practice could simply be a torture to me. My singing journey with uvphs are almost coming to an end before we headed off for 'O' levels. But that doesn't mean I'm leaving choir forever. Like what boon jun said, the seniors can always come back to help.. and I'm going to. Choir must get gold in year 2007 without fail. And choir will do so.

I'm done with crying by the way.. hopefully the rest of my friends would soon get over it too. Congrates to hihs for their gold.